ESPN's Rick Reilly is Cramping My Style

Ok so I don't want to toot my own horn here too much, but seriously Reilly... Pat Venditte?! Dude I was all over that EXACTLY three years and one day ago, when my ambidextrous boy Pat was still in college. Here's me on 5/5/2006...

I always wondered about this. I knew there wasn't any active switch-pitcher in the major-leagues, but I was curious as to whether or not it would be possible and also whether or not it would be in accordance with the rule book. Although Division I baseball doesn't necessarily follow the same rules as the MLB, I'm still happy to have learned that there is such a thing as a switch-pitcher.

"Pat Venditte Jr., isn't your ordinary college pitcher. He's the only active switch-pitcher in NCAA Division I. Venditte employs his ambidextrous abilities as a reliever for Creighton University. In a game last week against Kansas, Venditte retired six batters, three right-handed and three left-handed, and he recorded a strikeout with each arm. Through Wednesday, Venditte had a 2.51 ERA in 46 2/3 innings. " [via MLB.com]

...and here's Reilly on 5/6/2009...

His name is Pat Venditte, he's 23, and he's pro baseball's only ambidextrous pitcher. This living piece of history is more than a YouTube star; he's throwing almost daily for the Charleston RiverDogs, the Yankees' Single-A club. And he's not just throwing: He's blowing through hitters like a Cub Scout through Skittles. At one point in April, the closer's ERA was 0.00 in 6 1/3 innings, and he hadn't blown a save in five games. [via ESPN.com]

...so, ESPN, why aren't I working for you yet? In case you're still curious, here's a video from the CBS Youtube Channel:


Picture courtesy of Iblogtoblog.com

The Inane Dribble Manifesto, pt. 13

If you added up all the junk food I've bought in my life, I could probably afford to get liposuction. Damn.

Mama Chamberlain: Meth Slinger (allegedly)

Oh this is just too good to be true. According to TMZ, Joba Chamberlain's mom was arrested for attempting to sell methamphetamine to an undercover cop. Ha! Is the Chamberlain family the new Lohan family?

via TMZ.com
image courtesy of TMZ.com

Balsamic Marinated Chicken with Spinach and Ricotta Pasta

I made this for dinner tonight, and it was really good so I think you should try it. (P.S. I never measure anything when I'm cooking! These measurements are really estimates, and you can do everything to taste anyway.)

Balsamic Marinated Chicken with Spinach and Ricotta Pasta

What you'll need:
-1 pound white meat chicken (I used tenderloin strips, which amounted to about 8 strips, cut into 1/2 inch pieces)
-Balsamic wine vinaigrette (see below)
-1/2 white onion, chopped
-1/2 green pepper, chopped
-3 cloves of garlic, minced
-2 tablespoons butter
-2 tablespoons extra virgin olive oil (separated)
-1 box dried ziti
-2 cups fresh spinach leaves
-1 ball (80z) fresh mozzarella, chopped into 1/2 inch chunks
-1/2 cup whole milk ricotta cheese
-1/2 large tomato, chopped into 1/2 inch chunks
-1 tablespoon balsamic vinegar
-1/4 cup white wine
-salt and pepper

How to do it:
Toss chunks of chicken into balsamic wine vinaigrette and allow to marinate for a few hours, overnight if possible.
When you're ready to cook (all mise en place is done ahead of time, of course!), sprinkle the tomato chunks with a bit of salt and toss with the balsamic vinegar. Set aside for the time being.
Cook ziti according to package instructions, then drain, return to pan, and toss with 1 tbsp. olive oil. Put it back on low heat and toss in ricotta cheese, mozzarella, and tomatoes.
Meanwhile, in a skillet, melt butter with 1 tbsp. olive oil, and add the onions and peppers when the pan is hot. Sweat the vegetables until they are soft, then add the garlic. Cook for another two minutes, stirring often, then add the wine. Allow to reduce for several minutes until sauce is thickened slightly, then add chicken. Cook until chicken chunks are white in the middle, then add spinach to pan, stir, and cover until spinach wilts. Toss contents of skillet into pasta. Enjoy. (P.P.S. Yes, the croissant is store-bought. Whatever! I'm not Superman!)

Balsamic Wine Vinaigrette

Okay so you could just marinate your chicken in store-bought balsamic vinaigrette and that would be fabulous, but when I'm cooking I try to make things (especially sauces, marinades, and the like) myself. Here's what I did:

What you'll need:
-1/4 cup white wine
-2 cloves garlic, minced
-1 tbsp. plus 1 tsp. balsamic vinegar
-1 tsp. brown sugar
-a pinch of pepper
-a LIBERAL pinch of salt
-3 tbsp. extra virgin olive oil

How to do it:
Whisk together all ingredients except olive oil until thoroughly combined. Then SLOWLY drizzle in olive oil while whisking until mixture is emulsified. REMEMBER: you're marinating a chicken, not dressing a salad! This vinaigrette should be somewhat more acidic and somewhat saltier than your average salad dressing. You will notice the difference.

Kazookeylele kid

I caught this from a Myspace bulletin posted by the punk group Landmines. I had to share it.

The Other Side of RemDawg

It's a couple weeks old, but I just found this profile of Red Sox announcer and former second baseman Jerry Remy by Neil Swidey of the Boston Globe. You should read it. Witness:

Remy, with just seven home runs and one All-Star appearance during his 10-year Major League career, will never be anything but a paying visitor to Cooperstown. Improbably, though, this long-retired undersized second-baseman-turned-TV-commentator with the smoker's laugh, heavily lined face, and even heavier accent ("us" is "uz" and "of course" is "acourse") has managed to become a more popular figure in Red Sox Nation than [Jim] Rice, [Luis] Tiant, and all but a few living Hall of Famers, as well as most members of the current roster.

I never knew that much about Remy besides his on field stats and in booth persona, so it was interesting to read a bit of a different take on his life. This was one of my favorite anecdotes from the piece:

[Jerry and his friends would] laugh about their exploits, like the time Remy and his pal Henry Velozo took their girlfriends to a local amusement park. When they got back to the parking lot, they found Henry's Pontiac had a flat tire, which neither Jerry nor Henry knew how to fix. So the two of them headed back into the park, figuring a stranger would be more willing to change a tire for a couple of girls traveling alone. From the top of the giant slide, they watched as a random guy dutifully jacked up the car, and they chuckled at how perfectly their plan was working -- until the random guy got in the back seat and their girlfriends drove off with him.

Go read the story! Now!

via the Boston Globe
photo courtesy of the Boston Globe

House of Representatives passes Matthew Shepard Act

So, I can't decide if I should be sad that I learned about this on PerezHilton or not, but regardless, it's definitely pretty sweet that the House of Representatives agreed to pass the Local Law Enforcement Hate Crimes Prevention Act (AKA Matthew Shepard Act) which essentially grants federal backing in the local pursuit of hate criminals. So come at my gay ass and watch the FBI hunt you down Biatch!

via PerezHilton
learn more at Wikipedia
image courtesy of rrchapman.us

Jacoby Ellsbury steals home, and the Red Sox sweep the Yankees

Ok so this was just awesome. I love NY/Boston series, especially in Fenway and ESPECIALLY when the Red Sox sweep!

via MLB.com

The Inane Dribble Manifesto, pt. 12

If you're going to be a giant douche-nozzle to me, don't be surprised when I punch you in the lung.

Terry Francona tweeted me!

In case I didn't tell you already (I mean, I told practically everyone I know), Terry Francona sent me an @reply on Twitter today in response to my birthday wishes to him!! I'm all hot and bothered!

Some tremendous doucher harrases the Jonas Brothers!

Who else thinks that Curt was the one who initiated this photo-op... and that the Bros were more than a little creeped out by him? Leave them alone Schilling they're only children!!!

Via Boston Dirt Dogs

This is where the magic happens...

In case you care. As you can see, I need a new monitor (crt is so 20th century), a new camera (we've already covered that), and a new guitar (I threw mine against the wall in a fit of rockstardom and it mysteriously stayed there. Sweet!) Donations welcome!

Evidence that Some Scienctists are Right

So I've long heard that people shrink a little bit during the day (for more info on that phenomenon, click here), but I never really put much thought into it until recently. Why, you say? Well, in the morning when I get into my car I find that I have to move my rear-view mirror up a little bit. At night after work, it's just the opposite, I have to move it down. Either I'm slumping a lot due to the stress of the day or my vertebrae really are compressing due to the constant force of gravity throughout the day! Nerdalicious!

Image courtesy of Bioethics.net

The Inane Dribble Manifesto, pt. 11

I like my men like I like my coffee... cold and bitter? That doesn't work... Okay I like my men like I like my ice cream: sweet and will be there for me no matter how fat I get.

The Inane Dribble Manifesto, pt. 10

An analogy: Cigarettes are to massage therapy as nicotine patches are to masochistic auto-asphyxiation.

Bye Bye Banana

Doesn't he look kind of sad? He's smiling, but his eyes say "hahaha you can stop kidding now... you're not really gonna leave me here, right? Right, guys? Guys? ..."

Curt Schilling Strongside/Weakside

Well I was perusing The Onion Sports Network after my last post and I found this awesome picture there:

Hahahaha this makes up for any small part of me that might have cared about what they said about J.D. Drew. I particularly like "Main goal in fighting Lou Gehrig's Disease is to get it named after him instead" and "Role of Curt Schilling in life story will probably be played by that guy who played the pirate in Dodgeball." Hahahaha what a doucher.

Image courtesy of The Onion

The Onion disses Drew... and I'm strangely ambivalent about it...

Check out this post from the Onion Sports Network:

Bobby Abreu's angry reaction to a purpose pitch from Boston ace Josh Beckett triggered an ugly fracas Sunday that saw both teams' benches and bullpens cleared, with the notable exception of Red Sox outfielder J.D. Drew. "They looked like they had it under control; don't want too many cooks in the kitchen," said Drew, who could be seen yawning and flicking sunflower seeds into a nearby water cup during the fight. "I thought about getting in there for a second, but then I thought, nah. It didn't really directly concern me. I mean, yeah, they shoved a bunch of my teammates, but it's not like they were gonna die or anything. If someone was in mortal danger, I'd step in there. Yeah, I'd probably do that." Drew then turned his attention to perusing his contract for opt-out clauses. (from The Onion)

My first reaction when I read this was to say "hey The Onion, don't diss my Red Sox boy!" but then I thought... "my boy? Drew....? I'm not so sure..." Strange how right they might be about the very ambivalent nature that seems to surround Drew. He's a good player but, I mean, he's a good player. End of story.

Photo courtesy of The Onion

The Inane Dribble Manifesto, pt. 9

Don't shit a shitter. Do shit in the shitter. (OK that one was kind of bad.)

The Inane Dribble Manifesto, pt. 8

Tax day. The perfect day to celebrate the amazing degree of laziness, stupidity, and greediness in American citizens.

Buy Me a New Camera!

Watch my new video!

The Inane Dribble Manifesto, pt. 7

When life gives you lemons, throw them at mean people!

Curt Schilling Douche Bag of the Moment Awards: Joba Chamberlain (Final Edit)

Ok I figured it out!! Technology and I are friends again... until my evil nemesis BSoD shows up again! Anyway here it is... the FINAL edit of the (now obsolete, but it's ok) Curt Schilling Douche Bag of the Moment Awards!!!!! WATCH IT!!




More info on Octomom's douchbaggery
More info on Joba's douchebaggery
More info on that Shamwow dude's douchbaggery (careful, graphic photos ahead)

Tigers legend Mark Fidrych dies at 54

What a sad week in baseball. The latest news: one of my favorite historical figures in baseball has left the world. Massachusetts native Mark Fidrych was found dead under a dump truck on his hometown farm. I'm truly sorry I wasn't around to see all of "the Bird's" legendary 1976 season myself, but I've seen enough of his interviews and highlights to know that this was one of the most charismatic, interesting, and strange pitchers ever to take the mound (and that's saying a lot). He immediately endeared himself to me the first time I ever saw a story about him on ESPN, and I spent a good amount of time researching his oddities and fantastic pitching talent (not to mention his tragic fall from the spotlight due to injuries). This man was a treasure of the sport, and he will be missed.

Image courtesy of Windy City Musings

The Inane Dribble Manifesto, pt. 6

No matter how much you shake and dance, the last few drops always fall in your pants.

The Cigarette Swamp

The Inane Dribble Manifesto, pt. 5

Easter. The day Jesus Christ escaped from evil Lord Romulox's brightly colored, spheroid containment chamber and freed all the worlds bunny rabbits, and the rabbits showered Jesus with gifts of chocolate, gold, and cheap plastic toys.

Lifetime for Men!

via The Onion...

So we all know the Lifetime Channel kind of sucks. No offense women, I'm not saying ya'll suck. I'm just saying television programmed toward you does. Well The Onion (the only news source I trust ;-)) has made me really happy this morning in this regard. Witness:

"The new made-for-television movie A Just Killing—the inspiring true story of a man who finds his own inner strength by murdering his needy, overbearing wife—premiered on Lifetime for Men this past Saturday, earning the network its highest ever ratings... The film chronicles the painful ordeal of Gary Mulkeen, a fun-loving mechanic who meets a seemingly perfect woman, but must soon fight for his very life after she reveals herself to be a clingy, manipulative shrew."

Haha I love you, The Onion.

Picture courtesy of...der...The Onion.

Blue Screen!

Agh! I got blue screened! Who has a windows xp disk I can borrow so I can fix my piece of crap computer?!

Curt Schilling Douche Bag of the Moment Awards: Joba Chamberlain (Remix)

I think I solved the volume problems. I really just need a new cam (hint, hint, donations accepted!). Anyway here's the remix!




More info on Octomom's douchbaggery
More info on Joba's douchebaggery
More info on that Shamwow dude's douchbaggery (careful, graphic photos ahead)

Video Problems!

I've just learned that there's some audio problems with my last vid post. I will try to fix ASAP, stay tuned.

The Inane Dribble Manifesto, pt. 4

Don't drink and drive. Drink and make fun of stupid people.

Nick Adenhart, we hardly knew ye

Angels rookie pitcher Nick Adenhart died this morning after a hit and run forced his car into a light pole. It was just hours after the beast pitching performance of his major league career. More later.

Curt Schilling Douche Bag of the Moment Awards, 4/9/09

More info on Octomom's douchbaggery
More info on Joba's douchebaggery
More info on that Shamwow dude's douchbaggery (careful, graphic photos ahead)

The Inane Dribble Manifesto, pt. 3

There is perhaps nothing in the world more satisfying than a good poop.

The Green Monster Mural is Complete

Well it took a few weeks... ok months... and a hospital visit or two but the green monster mural my friend Matt and I painted on his baby son's wall is finally done! He's only one but I hope he likes it!







What do you think?

Fred Goes Swimming

Ok so this is like the most popular thing that ever happened on Youtube... what's going on with today's youth?! Actually... it is kind of funny...

The Inane Dribble Manifesto, pt. 2

Save a tree, suck a dick. Uh... what?

TINA!!!!!!

G.D. it! Why is the SNL skit in which Maya Rudolph plays Diana Ross in jail nowhere to be found on the consarndit interweb?! It's the best skit ever. Witness:

"Tina-na-naaa! What I would like to say is: Remember that scene in "Mahogony", those fantastic photos of me looking glamorous in Rome! Jail is not like that, Tina. Although, really, there is someone that's a dead-ringer for Billy Dee Williams - except her name is Roberta! [ Roberta paces behind Diana ] I mean, she got a moustache and everything!"

SNLTranscripts has all the quote action, but I need video! Find it for me, and link me ASAP!

Image and quote courtesy of SNLTranscripts

The Inane Dribble Manifesto, pt. 1

If you are stupid and/ or slow, get the f*** out of my way!

Here's a cake I made

Trying out email posting with a picture of a cake I made for connor's first birthday.

I Like Square Butts!

Choke Choke Sabathia

So CC Sabathia certainly started his Yankee career with a bang... as in "I dropped the soap in the Em City shower and Chris Merloni banged me in the ---." I cant' really say I'm surprised by his 4.1 inning, 6 earned run, 5 walk and 0 strikeout performance. The guy has never been a big game pitcher, as evidenced by his career 7.92 ERA in the post-season and 13.50 ERA in the All Star Game.

During the regular season with the under-the-radar Indians Sabathia was Cy-Young incredible. During the last half of the 2008 regular season last year with the even lower-key Brewers Sabathia was the best pitcher on the planet. That's all well and good, except that the team that forked over $161 million to make Sabathia their new ace is the most over-the-radar (?) team ever. Every game the Yankees play is a huge, post-season caliber affair. They pack stadiums wherever they go, and those road fans are gonna be hurling boos at Sabathia like the Toronto fans hurl baseballs at Curtis Granderson. The Yankees fans are loud too, and they're only gonna cheer for CC for about as long as it takes for him to not strike out the side in the first inning against Cleveland on April 16th - the day the Bronx opens it's purty new Yankees Stadium. As if that's not going to be a big game atmosphere. The Yankees might as well throw Sabathia to the dogs (and Brian Cashman, while they're at it).

Sabathia's horrendous performances under big game pressure has me thinking about some other famous choke artists.

The Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim: It take so long for the players to utter the name of their team to Boston sportswriters, they're simply out of breath by the time they are asked to actually play the Red Sox in the Division Series.

Rocky Balboa: So they made a movie about this supposedly talented boxer and they give him an unbelievable chance at the heavyweight title...and he goes and loses?! Damn you Stallone, you've foiled me again!

A-Rod: Too easy...

Tony Romo: Yea there was that fumbled snap back in January '07, and yea he hasn't brought the 'Boys to a conference championship game, but his worst offense: of all the women he had his choice of he goes and picks the one famous beauty who was destined to become just another stupid fat chick.

Kelly Wiglesworth: You just had to abandon the Tagis didn't you. You were the most physically dominant contestant in the first season of Survivor and you still couldn't save the world from making an old naked fat man famous. Thanks.

The Southern United States: I mean, come on. Slavery, the Civil War, pork rinds... you guys have dropped the ball just a few too many times. Worst offense? Helping make a world destroyer president...again...after seeing the economy of our nation already begin to collapse underneath us.

Image courtesy of NY Times